The Hierarchy of Adjectives
I'm going to give you a list of words. Your job is to string them together into a single coherent phrase.
Ready?
writing
Martian
three
utensils
bizarre
Now let's see how your work compares to the phrase I've come up with:
three bizarre Martian writing utensils
Did you manage to assemble them this way, too? If not, how did you string it all together? Below are a few alternatives:
three Martian bizarre writing utensils
bizarre three Martian writing utensils
three bizarre writing Martian utensils
Here's the thing. I can tell you right now that none of these other options will work in spoken OR written English. They just don't sound natural—and on top of that, they violate the sacred adjective hierarchy!
Sound ridiculous? Maybe it is. Or maybe it's just another subtle way to make your communication all the more effective.
Sometimes ordering multiple adjectives before one noun is simple and intuitive. But sometimes, especially when we've got a lot of those adjectives to place, the process becomes more difficult. Luckily, there's a general consensus to how we ought to do it.
Opinion/Evaluation (gross, beautiful, exquisite, bizarre)
Appearance (small, square, broken)
Age (young, ancient, new, teenage)
Color (purple, brown, black)
Origin (British, Martian, beach, mountain)
Purpose (sleeping, writing, running)
That's a lot of details to remember, though. So here's a hint: Move from the outside-in. Opinions and observations of appearance come from outside a noun—and the details more integral to that noun's identity (like origins or purpose) come from a much closer interior perspective.
Think about it in relation to yourself. You probably don't define your own identity based on your height or your age, but rather on what you do and where you come from. Remember, nouns are people too! (Sometimes.)
